Note to Self

Notes App was alive and it did have an iota of what was to happen.

Always leave your phone locked. 

Heart too.

Pano Nga Uli Sabihin Ang "I Love You"?

Yung nakalimutan mo na pano sabihin ang "i love you."

Yung excited ka sa "love you too" pero di ka naman nasasabihan ng "love you."

Kelan ba ang huli?

Kelan nga ba uli?

Ikaw ba yun kung sakali?

Kung half-meant, di na bale. 

Hindi naman siya pa-fall

Sadya ka lang gamol

Teka, walang "siya."

Busy ka, wag mag-pantasya. 

Nangangalawang pala ang puso pag panay utak

Tumitigas kasama ang dila, at kamaong mismong nang-wasak

Buti pa ang bola nagba-bounce back

E ikaw, zero love life, unli dakdak. 

Pano na nga ba sabihin?

Kailangan pa bang aralin?

"I" ba sa English alphabet?

O "ay" sa Pinoy kasi "ay, love ay sabet!"?

Hindi ito ang buhay single

Since birth o konserbatibong model

Istorya 'to ng mga jaded

"I love you" ay di na solid. 

Labor Last Year

Last year, I went extreme and radically true to my pledge/venture/abnegation to have an almighty time off 

by unplugging from the social media. 

That's a genuine desire to be off for a vacation; 

not off to give people vacation envy by posting lavish selfies. Didn't need sunset in my background or plane ticket in my foreground. The world kept spinning with or without the selfie. 

My idea of a new map of life to explore didn't 

include 70% of sea-lfies.

But it did and does include looking down at the haters and doubters.

Over

I know that this wound will bleed again
Now I’m here right beside the one I love
I see he’s in love with someone else
Now I know I just got to let him go
Because it’s over, help me get over

I don’t know what to do
There is no easy way of letting go
But I know there’s no sense
In holding on too much to something fading
Help me, help me
Help me get over you

Now I see, you’re so happy with her
Deep inside I just don’t know what to feel
Oh, I’m sure, you don’t need me anymore
So I’ll go on, try my best to just move on
Now that it’s over, I got to get over

I know I’ve got to leave it all behind
Somehow I’ll try to get you off my mind
So tell me what to do
Help me get over

I don’t know what to do
There is no easy way of letting go
But I know there’s no sense
In holding on too much to something fading
Help me, help me
Help me get over you

Help me get over you

Smart Sociopolitical Essay

WHAT I SAID

WHAT I REALLY MEANT

Not claiming to be at the top of the intellectual food chain but if you felt eaten, sorry. The glass must have cracks or the wall wasn't soundproof. Was just saying my observations. Probably out too loud. Sorry, you weren't food. I don't eat stupid. 

Or perhaps, I have flipped your bitch switch. Unready to be enlightened. They say you can't drive darkness out of darkness. You gotta have light. You can't take hate out of hate. You gotta give love. I'll give back your light and love but I won't be in that same room anymore with you. 

Not sure if we're from the same country. Man, your language seems different. You speak Pathetic. Not saying you're inferior because when all is said and done, you're superior pathetic. 

"Conyo"? Who said contemplation is a "conyo" way of pondering and insight; even more, a sort of branding myself Mr. Elitist?

"Rally"? Leave that thing that makes you a foolhardy brave talker(yes, your keyboard) and take to the streets your demonstration to rebuild a great nation. But please, spare me of your talking behind my back unless you like it there where you can perfectly kiss my ass.

I am concerned, my former friend, about your intellectual wellness and how politics prey on its potential to be great. Because I agree, "it doesn't take a genius" for it takes a great mind, not a blabbering mouth, to make sense.

Try getting plane tickets down south. 'Cause that's where your conduct is headed. 

My speech ends here. The choice to make a chapter 2 of my story on your wall is up to you but my book co-starring you is now closed. 

WHAT HAPPENED

Special

There's something about the way this movie was produced, directed, written, and portrayed by actors that's just so effective and fantastic. Who says you need to be melodramatic emphasizing a father's love for his son? To be glossy showcasing a sci-fi concept? To have adrenaline-laden score to mount thrill? 

This is the humanized version of E.T., the nephew of Looper, the raw re-imagining of Signs, the PG counterpart of Nightcrawler, the Beyoncé (circa Lemonade) foray into Spielberg territory, the middle finger of independent filmmaking to all-CG, zero-sense mainstream sh*t.

Didn't regret watching this over Civil War. Mainstream sci-fi lost me with that "BvS" thingy, with Allegiant, Scorch Trials, and even that otherwise unfantastic Fantastic Four.

The only horrible decision the producers have made was there from the get-go: the poster.

PS: Jericho Rosales needs himself some Michael Shannon influence in the father role category.

9.2 out of 10 stars!

Why I Went On Hiatus & What I Have Learned From Global Women

Last year, I went on HIATUS. People wondered where I had been. Recent events then augured my retiring to a low-key life. One was my father's health emergency. 

For more than a year of working continually for 2 soaps, 1 legal drama & a commercial of ABS-CBN, often stretching self across 5 consecutive 24-hour days, I grew worried for  my own health. Hashtag blessed, humblebraggers would say; hashtag hypochondriac for me.

I woke up to this uninvited thought: WHAT IF I NEVER WOKE UP TODAY?

In order to survive, I worked for a "different" sector. Regular hours. Steady. Not as high-paying but not as stressful as working for TV & film production. I resuscitated my dormant strengths & re-channeled some active ones.

On this "plateau," I discovered some peaks. One was the opportunity to interview some of APEC's Women Icons.  From Russia to Australia to Thailand to Malaysia to Canada to the Philippines' own - Narda, name it; each of these women gave wise words that could "out-like" any self-absorbed Facebooker's post by virtue of millions of lives they have made positive impact on. Some of them don't even have Facebook.

Wendy Pye of New Zealand talked to me like I were her son. "We need to work together. Not women together. Not men together. We have huge strengths to put on the table...Kids need to read. We need to read."

Empowering words, I thought. In 28 words, I felt the possibly 218 million lives she's affected for the better and that she may have wanted me to initiate myself. Her Sunshine Books have made 218 million people read around the world.

Today, I am still not too far from the crossroads. This is not a bad thing for this means I have more options. A matter of choosing the direction that will bring me (back) to a venture I love and that which loves back.

It's no coincidence that we are celebrating International Women's Day today.

PS:
Try as I might to skip my birthday, somebody made my December 8's waking day an ample reason to be grateful. Thus:

Lawyers Do Surprises Too

The Voice on The Bus

On a rare occasion of riding a shabby bus because I felt overly anxious of colleagues' recent passing needed some alone time & cabs ran scarce, the voice "inside" me literally spoke up. Too loud it sounded like a wheeze in two concurrent ways: joke & jukebox. 

Well, apart from the fact I just came from a 

rehearsal for a tribute concert for Mariah.