All By Me

I'm in the minority for never liking this song 
but somebody told me it fits my vocal glove. 
Don't be mean on my first try. 

Besides, been a while since I last posted a selfie-deoke.

This is me doing All Of Me during my All By Me time.

The Lab Purgatory

Time is Gold. 

And if time were affordable by gold and I were the richest, I would use it to buy another time - the RIGHT kind of TIME. 

The right time to get out of what this truth-reaffirming article calls the "love purgatory."

The Absolute Tragedy Of Meeting The Love Of Your Life At The Wrong Time

[Most Striking Paragraph Award goes to:

"You meet other amazing, beautiful people with whom you want to work things out, but it never happens because something is off. He or she just isn’t _____ (fill in the blank with your person)."]

I am in it. Have been in it for 7-8 years now. Could be a curse, a maddening test or sheer reality of a lifetime I wish to get over with for the love of my life but never be over for I love life. The best person I "never" (read: 3 months = never) had. 

Time, I have learned, is such a mean thing. It punishes without a promise of recovery. It has the power to convert itself into a more insufferable form - space. Just when you thought you are free to love again, here comes time re-presenting itself as great distance; playing Moses, bullying two souls into opportunities they can only live on seas apart. We're talking Singapore and the Philippines here. We're talking another matter of when in the form of where. 

Have I tried closing in? Goes without saying. Were we within 5, 10 or 15 kilometers apart? Probably. Kilometers that could be replaceable with "impossibilities." This time talking about 5, 10 or 150 impossibilities. I prayed for it. Hard enough. But time, that mean thing in the guise of space, is harder to beat. By the time we were 1 kilometer/impossibility apart, probably in the same airport, we found ourselves bound for different spaces of geography and purpose. 

Giving up has never sounded this convincing. But I am better known patient. Or at least, have aged with greater amount of it. This isn't false hope. This is my war against time (and space) and I shall win it. The love of my life not totally the trophy; rather, our happiness together. Armed with my gold to afford time's biggest enemy - the RIGHT TIME - these intangible riches will have you within my reach. I can't wait to hold your hand (again)...in or out of this lab purgatory. 

One Year, Two Babies

This was 1 year ago.

It's their 1st birthday today.

I should remember; they are the only worthy residue of a retrospective wilderness.

Happy birthday Baby Aki and Baby Hidee.

Your (Grand) Daddy loves you so.

Right On

My humor. Spot-on.
From my favorite TV show. Come on.
I also sing. But not with as much entertainment value as these kings and queens of the throne.
This is exactly what the world needs. Coldplay in my zone.

I Don't Wanna Be Found

I don't wanna be found. 

I am not lost. 

I just wanna be alone. 

I am not lonely. 

True, I miss a lot of people in my life now. I'm itching to bring their asses to wherever I may be at or show up to whoever I'm kinda hiding my whereabouts from. But either fate won't let me or I can't. 

Such a guilty pleasure that I wish to make the last bit of very soon. For I wanna share the fruits of my labor with the people I love the most and have been sacrificing this much for. Where I'm at now is one of the fondest to extend or look back to when over. But I wanna stay tucked in this pragmatic space. 

In spades, this is my reality at its most enjoyable state. A little push further and I might even ditch my mobile phone altogether. After abandoning my social media pages, I am verging on leading a most fundamental form of life. That reeking of organic relationships and confluent introspections. Any point distant from superficiality. To know one as no one. To know oneself as no one's. To "know" over "no."

Of course, the inherent need to be with someone exerts itself to be important. The conjugal feeling of triumph has to be a unitive effort. Then there is the perfect time, which is an elusive parcel of a person who happens to be me. Such time, when it dawns at last, must be worth the climb back to the zenith of either gratification or atonement. 

I write weird. I start simple and end complex. Much like a firework that starts off a pulverization and blossoms forth a floridity. Mistakable for apotheosis but truthfully, a display of psychedelic impuissance. Well, we all know the form which this curlicue ends up being - ashes. Basic. Back grounded. I'm somewhere between this extravagance and occlusion. In that very puny, temporal phase of a decision of whether to lay floating through unfamiliar currents of "anywhere up here" or dive aground, remote to any inferences of felo-de-se, appressed to peace. This is certainly to replenish rather than languish. 

I am excited for my buoyant self to explode into the many pieces of realized dreams. That alone, never into one solid snowball of an ass most people have become on say, Facebook. 

I do want to be profound. 

Be Mine or Be Mime

All or Nothing.
Now or Never.
Take It or Leave It.

Were these cliched questions invented by power-tripping lords of dichotomy or hopeless romantics? 

Rent's song "Take Me or Leave Me" isn't up there in my head for years, for nothing, for no one. But I've outgrown the silliness of attributing every deciding moment in my heart's dealings to signs and schmaltz. 

Lemme contribute my own: Be Mine or Be Mime.

#CornyLikeFritos

Known Diversion Road

It took an unfailingly poor sense of direction to titillate the rest of my senses resting deep into my fondest memory halls. That hall is labeled "Cebu." Looking for my way out of Gaisano, my usual sharp decisions to choose the wrong lefts and rights turned out such a welcome  mistake on my lonesome trip around the country. "Gelatissimo" is the name of the place and "firsts" is the name of the memory lane. 

Dating as far back as 7 or 8 years ago, Champs (endearment term for my clique) went to Cebu for our FIRST flight out together. I think it was also my FIRST time to ride a plane ever. My FIRST time to die by gelato (FIRST & only time to indulge in choco liqueur) at the very FIRST branch of Gelatissimo in the Philippines. This gelato parlor has put me under such an irresistible spell that months later, I went back to Cebu for 2 principal reasons: to meet someone and to eat this one. That when the former reason failed, I had to fulfill the latter more than once. 

Oh this mental road block is a delightful diversion!

How Do You Spend Moms' Day Away From Your Mom?

Swap!

My very close friend, Kerwin, hails from Cagayan De Oro. I happen to be in CDO for a big project (in another blog topic y'all). What better way to seize myself out of this motherless day than landing in another mom's home. Kerwin's MOMSOT!

Kerwin's sisters were as surprised as Momsot. Imagine a celebrity prank raid at home.
Except I am no celebrity.

See, Kerwin wanted to return the favor so bad. Although he's in Manila, he isn't as capable to claw himself out of what he calls a "house arrest" thanks to summer's flu. Gruff, he instead rendered my mom a surprise harana on the phone. Talk about effort. I'd take any cacophonous call that comes straight from the heart any Mothers' Day. 

Mama's got a Smart number. Kerwin Globe.

Our mommas raised us well.