Wild/Retrograde

"Wild" by Nicolette Krebitz was a movie which has the last two-thirds of it making up for the borefest that was its first third. The kind that lives up to its name - radical, raw, WILD. 

Reminds me of Pier Pasolini's Salò and Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan. Enough said. 

One has got to see it for themselves to taste its "wild offering." A guaranteed go-to art for anyone seeking an awakening of their senses. Animal instinct had never been this graphically demonstrated. 

And for some strange reason, that definitive scene left me a haunting impression with the huge help of this chilly soundtrack - Retrograde by James Blake.  

Pierced through my soul like I would want to transform myself. 

The erotic timing of James Blake's song weaved so well with the rhythm of Ania's visceral breakthrough. "Retrograde" is my new Regina Spektor. Last time I felt wounded by the two-pronged tandem of art and music was 10 years ago.

Regret

Will you make someone

regret that

they loved you

or

regret that they hated

you?

Deserve

"DESERVE"

Such a strong word.

A tooth for a tooth.

An eye for an eye.

A jealousy for jealousy.

A skepticism for skepticism.

A less-than-100% for a less-than-100%.

A negligence for negligence.

An indifference for indifference.

An unreasonableness for unreasonableness.

A self-interest for self-interest.

A dalliance for dalliance.

That is the "deserving" kind of love. Not necessarily "unconditional," not necessarily the "ideal."

Careful to wish for a love you "deserve" because what you gave is what you ought to receive.

Careful not to ask for equity when what suits is equality.

Ask not for an equinox when you are blocking the sun. Ergo, all these eclipses.

The universe works for science as it also does for human emotions.

Sometimes, what we've been asking for is what we've been falling short of giving. Don't ask for trees if you never planted any. Expect no fruit from a tree you never watered yet you're welcome to sustain on the wondrous sight of it. And that is all right - because that is just about what we "deserve."

Defining "LOVE" as giving what you've been given and getting what you've been giving is a fatal way to mistake "deserved love" for "love" love.

Thin lines abound.

Hurt is working overtime.

Not A Mary Day for Dashiro's Last

Never thought I'd see this day when someone so dear to me

would pass away.

This soon.

Dashiro was found lifeless in his cage,

diagnosed w/ diabetes, and

is bound to be euthanized today.

He's learned so many tricks from me.

But the last of which I didn't know he'd learn by himself

- how to go to Dog Heaven.

Go celebrate Mama Mary's birthday up there.

Life is sweeter in heaven, baby boy Dashiro.